God, Jefferson Sessions, and Sarah Sanders Meet

As it came to pass, God, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders came to meet just outside Heaven’s Pearly Gates.  On the inside were thousands of Hispanic children attending a fiesta.  The conversation between the three adults got somewhat heated.

 

God: So now, tell me why is it that you chose to separate and imprison these children, made in my image, when their families sought asylum in the United States?

 

Sessions:   I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes ¹.

Sanders: Yes, it is very biblical to enforce the law²

God: Hmm. . . . there is no law that requires immigrant families to be separated. The decision to charge everyone crossing the border with illegal entry — and the decision to charge asylum seekers in criminal court rather than waiting to see if they qualify for asylum — are both decisions the Trump administration has made.³

Sessions: But as Paul commanded, we must obey our government decisions . . .

God: Hold it right there.  First off, your cherry picking scripture.  Why do you cite Paul, a mere mortal, but ignore my own written word and command. As y’all are fond of saying in your neck of the woods “That dog won’t hunt.”

Sessions: But . . .

God: No buts about it.  Sarah, let me ask you, in your vacation bible school years ago, what did you learn that I told Moses?

Sanders: I can’t comment on . . .

God: Well I can.  I told him to go to the Pharaoh and tell him that I am running the show and that he is to let my people go (Exodus 3).  The Pharaoh could either do it my way, or suffer the consequences.  I did not care about the laws or decisions of the Pharaoh.

Sessions: But, Paul said . . .

God: Look Jeff, you need to take some time off this summer for some remedial study of my Word.  I am tired of folks deciding what they are going to do, then trying to find some scriptural justification.  Instead, my followers need to read the scripture to determine what their actions should be.

Session: But Lord, Paul said . . .

God: Jeff, give it a break.  I am tired of hearing about Paul.  In the same letter to the Romans Paul also said: “Love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:9-10).  You are completely missing the point on this anyway. But, let’s go back to what I have to say about all of this and forget about your convenient use of Paul.  Do you not remember how in Leviticus (19:34) I said “The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.”  How can I be any more clear?  I have often sent my people to live as foreigners in new lands.  Look at Abraham or Jacob and his family who I sent out to escape the famine in their country.  How are you so certain I have not sent these Hispanic families to the United States to escape the same oppression?

Sessions: But Lord, we must have order and . . .

God:  Listen sonny – again, I have said  “Do not mistreat or oppress a foreigner, for you were foreigners in Egypt. (Exodous 22:21).  As my son is fond of saying “Whoever has ears, let them hear” Matthew (11:15).

Sessions: But Lord, the law . . .

God: Once again, the law!!!  Did you not read the legal scholar who questioned my son about what is written in the law?  Your 2000 year old legal equivalent correctly responded that the law stated:  “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27-28).

Sanders: But Lord, who really is my neighbor?

God: Girlfriend, you don’t want to go down that road.  Do you not remember the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke:30-38)?  I mean you even name hospitals after this guy.  But another story my son told is also relevant here:

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life” (Matthew 25:31-46).

So my question to you, Jeff and Sarah, are you goats or sheep?

Sanders: I never thought of it that way before . . .

Sessions: I just did not know . . .

God: Well now you do.

And with that God went inside to join the fiesta with the children.

 

  2 comments for “God, Jefferson Sessions, and Sarah Sanders Meet

  1. August 9, 2018 at 5:18 pm

    This is amazing!

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